Feeling Selfish is OKAY!


For the longest time I would put other people before myself. I would feel enormous guilt if I wanted to do something for me. After years of counseling I realized that being SELFISH is absolutely OKAY! I’ve heard it before time and time again that I needed to “take care of myself first” but every time I would start, I would feel like I was being selfish. Finally my heart caught up with my brain and now it’s easier to say “no” or opt out of things if they don’t bring me joy or fulfill whatever need it is that I’m longing for.

If you’re in a place where you want to do something that makes you happy, but you are hesitant for whatever reason…go for it! You may feel like you’re being “selfish” but that means you’re doing something right!

If That’s A Muffin Top, Then I Have A Burger Bulge – Supersized

This morning I was reading through the headlines and I saw the following:

Kristin Chenoweth, 88 Pounds, Thinks She Has a “Muffin Top”

So naturally I clicked on the link and I read the story about how the beautiful and talented Kristin Chenoweth tweeted how she thought she had a muffin top in the picture shown here. (Photo Courtesy: Michael Simon/startraksphoto.com)


I’m not a doctor or a psychologist, so who cares what I have to say. Which leads me to the following reaction… ARE YOU FRICKIN’ KIDDING ME?? First of all, we are all critical of ourselves no matter what shape, size, color, gender etc. But if you’re so “worried” about your tiny little belly poking out over your size 1 bikini, maybe you should cover yourself up with a ski parka. (Oh wait, maybe it was a dreaded size 2. We all know going up a size can really wreck havoc on your psyche.)

When I read stories like this I wonder why people just can’t keep their mouth shut?! It’s not cute. It’s not even the slightest bit endearing. I don’t know about you but I certainly don’t think, “Awwww look at the beautiful, talented Kristin Chenoweth who looks amazing, is very talented, making money doing what she loves, but she does have a little pot on her.”

We are all flawed. Some of us have daily reminders every time we look in the mirror. But when I read something like this, something that is just an attention grabber because someone doesn’t feel as special as they should, I can’t help but roll my eyes and say “Okay, you wanted attention? You’ve got it! Congratulations, you made headlines. You’re being looked at from all areas of the world. Are you happy? Does it make your tragedy a little more tolerable? No? Well, okay… here is a picture of you and your “muffin top” fully exposed.”


There is a guy named Sam who lost both of his legs in Iraq this past month. His life is FOREVER changed and yet he and his fiancee focus on the positive. Their story should be the one making headlines, not this waste of time. (Yes, I know I’m wasting my time writing about it. But it feels sooo good!) 😉

So forgive me Ms. Chenoweth if I don’t shed tears over your sad observation of yourself as you frolicked around the beach in your little bikini. Instead I’m going to have a chocolate shake and a cheeseburger in your honor. You’re welcome.

In the future please feel free to refer to this guide if you are ever in doubt.


Low Self-Esteem – The Gift That Keeps On Giving!

BeautifulMonkeyI learned a long time ago that words and actions can hurt you, but only if you allow them too.

Last night while having dinner with my husband, I asked him to take note of the time and date. He looked up from his empty dinner bowl and gave me a strange look. Smiling from ear to ear I said, “You finished dinner before me!” I couldn’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment. For the past several weeks, months, years… I have been trying to understand portion control. The theory of eating slowly and enjoying food was something I only read about. So this moment was special for me, knowing that I set out to achieve a goal and I had finally reached it. This moment lasted for approximately 2.8 seconds, when my wonderful husband opened his mouth and said, “Yeah, it’s the first time you didn’t shove food into your mouth like a ravenous water buffalo.”

He laughed and got up to help himself to a piece of double fudge chocolate cake which sat next to the seven, yes, SEVEN boxes of Girl Scout cookies on the counter. When he came back to the table, I couldn’t help but think if I were a heroine addict, would we leave it on the counter next to the cake or hide it in a cookie jar?

You may not believe this, but I have some self-esteem issues. (shocker!) I have talked to my counselor about it, I have read books and forums. One of the common things I read is to feel better about yourself, you need to dress better. I am the first to admit that I can’t dress myself. I don’t know how to apply makeup  without looking like a hooker in a boxing fight. I wear shoes that are two sizes too big and I can’t seem to get away from wearing my comfortable black slacks every day. But I try. While I may not always get it right, and I may look like an over sized ball of wool with shoes that could house a small village, I do try. So I snuggled into my chair and surfed Pinterest for new hair styles and fashion advice.

Sure, the past haunts me and the words that are said do hurt. But I know deep down with the help of Google search, Pinterest and various blogs from people who have changed their life, I am well on my way to a slimmer, well dressed, fulfilled me. Now if I could just untangle the curling iron from my hair without burning my face off, I’d be set!