My Sweater Looked Like A Bowel Movement With Arms

Here’s an important piece of advice: The first time you meet an adorable actress who is playing you in a movie, try to dress appropriately.

The first time I met Hilary Duff was just before her concert at the Dodge Theater in Phoenix, Arizona. It was a typical sweltering night in Phoenix and there were  “tweens” screaming and jumping around everywhere. We were escorted back to the VIP area and were given a sticker along with some kind of wrist band.

My Mom and I were sitting next to each other watching in silence as people would come and go. I will admit that I was excited to be there. Hell, I was excited to be anywhere. I had just been released from one of my many hospital stays, with my wound-vac suctioning away as my only reminder.

About ten minutes later the security guard came in and asked us to follow him. To say that I sweat when I’m nervous is a total understatement. I had a line of sweat from my forehead to my armpits and my feet were sliding around in my shoes.

We walked in the door and Hilary was standing with her Mom and her manager. I could see her smile quickly turn to a look of horror across her face. She glanced up and down and slowly shook her head from side to side. Now if you know me or if you have read parts of this blog you will know that while I may try to dress well, it’s ALWAYS been a challenge for me.

Still in shock, she scanned my hair that was now pulled back and partially wet from the sweat that had pooled along my forehead. I had on a large brown, yellow and green Mohair-Wool sweater that could have easily doubled as a bowel movement with arms. The 40% polyester and 60% Acrylic was little or no help in aiding the uncontrollable sweating. I had on black leggings and black moon boots, that I still to this day have no idea where they came from or why I chose to wear them. I was dressed for a blizzard on a 98 degree evening.

Under my ball of wool, my arm hair had been moistened just enough to enhance my huge paws that I had continuously wiped on my pants to keep dry. I was literally a hot mess. Hilary was sweet and treated me very well. I quickly explained that I admired her fashion style and that I was a total nightmare when it comes to clothes, hair and makeup. We talked about the movie and how I was a total jackass as a teenager. She was then asked by some guy to go to the stage where hundreds of screaming kids waited for her.

There were a few pictures taken (what I would give to have one of those pictures for proof of how hideous I looked) and then we were on our way.

Here is a picture of how I looked…if you find a real picture of me at that concert, please send it and I will post here.


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