Shopping For Life Vests Is A Fat Persons Nightmare!

I haven’t been boating since way back when I was a kid at day camp. So the idea of boating and the entire process has never really been on my radar. That is until one Saturday morning a few weeks ago when my boyfriend decided to purchase a Boston Whaler boat. We were on our way back from picking up our new toy when we quickly exited I-5 at exit 111 in Lacey, Washington. When I asked where we were going he explained that we had to stop by Cabela’s for some important boating items. I did the typical girlfriend nod of approval and didn’t think twice about it.

He was over in the boating section while I was looking at the aquarium. I saw my boyfriend wave to me from across the store so I quickly made my way over to him. He was talking with two customer service guys in front of a huge rack of life vests. As I approached he grabbed my hand and suggested that I try on a life vest.

A simple request that was not meant to harm, quickly became the equivalent of “Hey honey, all of us guys are going to stand here while you get naked, cover yourself in pudding and do jumping jacks in front of us.” Okay so even that thought makes me want to throw up, but that’s the exact feeling I had. A blanket of nausea fell over me and my legs went numb. I looked at the rack and looked back at the guys hoping they hadn’t heard what he said. My boyfriend nudged me along and said that they would be waiting for me.

Perfect! The pressure of squeezing my volume into a floatable corset was not my idea of a good time. I walked around the rack looking at the different sizes. I saw the 3X size and then the UNIVERSAL size. I grabbed both sizes in the same color and quickly ducked out of sight. I slowly pulled the 3X over my head and shoulders. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath in and pulled the strap in the front. I couldn’t believe it, but there was more than enough room for me to fit. I stood up and walked around like I was just voted “Miss Life Vest of America.” I unhooked that vest and grabbed the UNIVERSAL size. I pulled the vest over my head and felt the same amount of room as the first! I couldn’t believe it. I could fit and didn’t even need the spray-on Pam to help.

So I hung up the 3X and took the UNIVERSAL size over to the guys. It was one of those moments where I realized that working out and eating right was really paying off. If this were to have taken place five months ago, there is no way I could have fit in one of those vests.

I was on a personal high as we were walking out to the truck. Pulling out of the parking lot my boyfriend held my hand and smiled. I smiled back at him as he said, , “I’m glad we got everything we need. Next weekend we’re going boating!”

And just like that… my high was gone. Now I’m worried I might sink the boat!

To be continued…

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