… this is the one I hate the most.
I took the picture above of me on my scale. I think it’s a reminder of all the errors and mistakes that I have made along the way and how I used to handle the stress from it all. When the stress would become too much I would eat until I felt better.
When I look back at my life there are many things that I am extremely proud of. Then there are those errors or mistakes that I’ve made and ended up paying for emotionally, physically, mentally, financially or all of the above.
While it’s one thing for me to make my own mistakes and to pay dearly for them, it’s another thing to be blamed for the mistakes that other people have made in their own life. This very thing had happened and even though I couldn’t wrap my head around it, I started researching and asking professionals and friends for advice. The question that was asked of me was this: “Why should someone give you the respect you deserve when you obviously don’t even respect yourself? Those people who treat you poorly see you as an overweight, weak, pincushion who is unworthy of respect.” It took awhile for that statement to really absorb into my soul. I went through all of the emotions possible and then I finally hit that place where I am tired of living for others and not for myself. I have gained weight, lost weight and gained it back time and time again. Each time I would make excuses and this time I am done. I am done being the unworthy fat girl who always makes sure everyone else is well taken care of and happy. It’s the hardest thing to change but in the end it is so worth it!
I would like to invite you along with me on this journey because I certainly can’t do it alone. I will be posting advice and tips along the way as well as my progress. Please feel free to e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org with your stories, thoughts and suggestions. Thank you for stopping by.